H was on a cruise trip for five days last week, it was for his company trip and I insisted him to go because he has missed so many company trips before sebab anak anak masih kecil lah, kesian nak tinggallah, kesian kat akulah. This time I persuaded him to go and assured him that I can take care of the children well, easy peasy I thought, so cute of me for thinking that way -_____-"
Because apparently... taking care of two small children without a husband was sooo hard! I cried on the first day he left, and to my defense, both my children were not so cooperative too! I don't know, maybe they were just missing their Daddy and they didn't know how to let out their emotion and being rebellious seemed the only way for them. I felt like a failure, and at that moment I was damn sure that I can never be a housewife or my children will grow up hating me. I feel like, I am a better mother when I am a working mom.
I was extremely tired, perhaps because I have to climb to my 4th floor apartment sambil dukung the 14kg Adam Muaz, with my almost 2kg handbag, also their laundry bag that we bring on daily basis to their babysitter. Benda yang selama ini aku tak pernah buat pun. Berat okay! Nasib baik Ammar Yusuf dah boleh naik tangga sendiri... To all single moms out there who take care of your own children single-handedly, you really have all my respect! You guys are superwomen!
But regardless how bad our day was, during bedtime was a complete different story. Both my children were so clingy, dua dua minta ditepuk dan suruh Mummy sing pula. We watched movies which we have recorded before on Astro, sambil Mummy di tengah tengah tepuk bontot dua dua, usap rambut sekali sekala dan anak anak bertanya itu ini, with their arms hugging my neck tight. The bedtimes were so calm, peaceful and beautiful. I kinda missed those moment already :')
So H is back now, and I'm also back to be a sane person hehe. Betul betul 'patah tangan' without him, my super-husband. Five days of taking care of two children without a husband, I've already re-evaluated my plan of having another child in the near future :/ Maybe he is right, I'm just not ready.
Because apparently... taking care of two small children without a husband was sooo hard! I cried on the first day he left, and to my defense, both my children were not so cooperative too! I don't know, maybe they were just missing their Daddy and they didn't know how to let out their emotion and being rebellious seemed the only way for them. I felt like a failure, and at that moment I was damn sure that I can never be a housewife or my children will grow up hating me. I feel like, I am a better mother when I am a working mom.
I was extremely tired, perhaps because I have to climb to my 4th floor apartment sambil dukung the 14kg Adam Muaz, with my almost 2kg handbag, also their laundry bag that we bring on daily basis to their babysitter. Benda yang selama ini aku tak pernah buat pun. Berat okay! Nasib baik Ammar Yusuf dah boleh naik tangga sendiri... To all single moms out there who take care of your own children single-handedly, you really have all my respect! You guys are superwomen!
But regardless how bad our day was, during bedtime was a complete different story. Both my children were so clingy, dua dua minta ditepuk dan suruh Mummy sing pula. We watched movies which we have recorded before on Astro, sambil Mummy di tengah tengah tepuk bontot dua dua, usap rambut sekali sekala dan anak anak bertanya itu ini, with their arms hugging my neck tight. The bedtimes were so calm, peaceful and beautiful. I kinda missed those moment already :')
So H is back now, and I'm also back to be a sane person hehe. Betul betul 'patah tangan' without him, my super-husband. Five days of taking care of two children without a husband, I've already re-evaluated my plan of having another child in the near future :/ Maybe he is right, I'm just not ready.